


Kiss Me Like You Mean It.

by lizibabes



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Alcohol, M/M, Sex, Swearing, cross dressing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-07
Updated: 2012-10-07
Packaged: 2017-11-15 20:29:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/531368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizibabes/pseuds/lizibabes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for TJRbigbang. Tommy has a crush on his friend Sutan for a whole tour and now the tour is over can Tommy make his feelings known? And does Sutan feel the same?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiss Me Like You Mean It.

**Author's Note:**

> AU in that Tommy doesn't meet Sutan's drag persona Raja till after Glamnation. Thank you for the amazing mix to Heartdesire48 and thank you to both of my lovely beta's on this one. And again thank you to the mods for a challenge I could not resist at all.  
> [](http://heartsdesire456.livejournal.com/968447.html)
> 
> Mix post

　

"So baby, I have a favour to ask," A voice off to one side purrs, and Tommy frowns for a second as he turns and sees a beautiful woman standing next to him, a beautiful woman who is taller than him and looks damn familiar.

　

"Sutan?" Tommy asks. He's heard, seen pictures, but he's never seen Sutan all dressed up, even though Sutan promised after he got Tommy in a skirt and corset. 

　

"Not tonight, tonight I'm Raja and I meant it about that favour," Raja smiles, putting an arm around Tommy's shoulder. She's in a dark blue dress that shows off a lot of leg, but is still classy, sexy as hell, but still classy, but then Tommy has always thought you didn't need to be slutty to be sexual. Raja is the prettiest person at the bar, all eyes are on her and Tommy knows he's getting a few jealous looks because people think Raja is with him.

　

"Anything for my life partner," Tommy says, signalling to the bartender as he finally gets close. The bartender gives him a signal Tommy assumes means two minutes.

　

"I was hoping you'd say that," Raja says with a bright smile.

　

"What have I just agreed to?" Tommy asks.

　

"To be in my music video," Raja tells him and Tommy has to hug her hard because that is so awesome.

　

"You're making your own music video? That's so fucking cool, I'll do anything you want," Tommy says in a rush.

　

"Now that's some offer to make a lady," Raja purrs and Tommy feels himself blushing, because Raja unsurprisingly is just like Sutan in that she always finds away to take what he said and give it a sexual spin.

　

"You're wicked," Tommy points out, ordering them both a double JD and coke when the bartender comes over, waving away Raja's money when she offers it to him.

　

"And you're a gentleman, so rare these days," Raja kisses him on the cheek lightly and Tommy wonders if she has left any of her lipstick behind. He doesn't really mind if she has, if people think they are together. He's out with his friends tonight, the Glamily, all together one more time before they all go home, back to the real world. It had been Adam's idea and Tommy's glad he organised it, he is going to miss these people, even if they are only apart for a little while. Adam's too much of a workaholic to wait forever to be touring again, he's already been working on his second album, but there is no guarantee that all the dancers and the band will be coming back again. So far Tommy knows he will be and so will Isaac, but no one else. Tommy doesn't like it, he'll stay out of it and let Adam stress about it, as long as he's touring with amazing people, playing awesome music. He's sure he'll be good with whatever happens. The people he loves will stay in his life either way, he's sure of that.

　

"Not always a gentlemen," Tommy chuckles and Raja rolls her eyes at him, but she puts her arm in his as they walk through the bar to the table Adam and the others are sitting at in the back of the bar and she stays at his side, taking a seat next to him and flirting outrageously. Tommy loves it, Sutan always flirts with him, but it has never become more, not on tour. Tommy would never start something on tour, but they're out of that bubble now, back in the real world and there is still something about Sutan that makes Tommy's heart race just a little. 

　

Tommy's kind of been crushing on Sutan hard from pretty early on. Adam teases the hell out of him about it, but has been nice enough not to tell Sutan Tommy's secret. But sometimes Tommy thinks that Sutan knows, it's in the way Raja looks at him now, like maybe the flirting isn't just all a joke, like maybe it's real. Tommy's at a loss though, he doesn't know what to do about the way he feels. It's not like he's never been with a guy before, he just doesn't really tell people about that, well Adam knows and Isaac and Sophie, not to mention his parents, his whole family really. Mike and Dave as well. Tommy guesses he's not very good at keeping secrets when it comes to himself, at least they don't all know that he has a thing for Sutan.

　

Tommy tries to not dwell on his crush, not tonight, he wants to have fun with his friends, his tour family, he doesn't want to sit around thinking about the fact that maybe after over a year it's more than just a crush, but he'll deal with it another day. Tonight he's going to have fun, even if Adam and Isaac do gang up on him and let Terrence and Taylor drag him out to the dance floor, even though by now they all know that Tommy does not dance. 

　

"Can I cut in?" Raja asks and Tommy doesn't even have a chance to answer for himself before he's pushed toward Raja, who luckily seems to realize that a slow dance is more in his ability range. All he has to do is hold her and sway, he can do that, it actually feels nice. Raja is tall, would be even without the heels and lean, all muscle and Tommy thinks he could learn to enjoy dancing if it was always like this.

　

"Thanks for the save," Tommy says softly.

　

"No problem, I wanted a dance before I called it a night anyway," Raja smiles and Tommy wants to kiss her so badly he's afraid it'll show on his face, that something will give him away. 

　

"I'm not much of a dance partner," Tommy mutters, hoping he's not blushing again, but he thinks maybe he is.

　

"You're doing fine," Raja assures him and they dance together until the song ends and then Raja leads the way back to the table, her hand in Tommy's. Raja and Adam are staying in a hotel together that night, so when they decide to call in a night, Tommy walks them to the car Adam has hired. As usual as they get up from the table, there are hugs and kisses and Tommy leaves the club covered in different lipstick and gloss and smelling of a ton of different perfumes and after shaves.

　

Adam is one of the last to kiss him, right on the mouth same as always, kissing him hard and licking into his mouth. It doesn't mean anything, Adam kisses all of his friends and he likes to see if he can get a reaction out of Tommy. Just because Tommy teases him for getting a hard on when he's on stage, Adam likes to see if he can makes Tommy blush or if he can fluster Tommy.

　

"You can come with us if you want, there's room, breakfast in bed in the morning," Adam says, holding Tommy close. He likes Adam's hugs, he's bigger than Tommy and runs warmer and he likes that, just not like in a sexual way. But then he'd known Adam for a few weeks when Adam had declared he was family and never leaving. Tommy had pointed out that they were family that kissed, which was a little fucked up, but Adam insisted it wasn't weird, like twins in porn or something, hot to watch, but not something that would ever work out well in real life.

　

"Okay, why not," Tommy nods and before he knows it, he is sat between Raja and Adam in the back seat of the car. He feels like he's about to fall asleep, but he manages to make it to the hotel without falling asleep even once. He doesn't trust Adam not to draw on his face with lipstick if he does, he's done it before. Tommy doesn't get why people think he's with Adam when Adam pulls pranks on him just like he did with Neil when they were kids. You don't draw cat whiskers and a nose on a guy if you are trying to sleep with them and you don't let them get up and go into public like that without even a hint of warning.

　

Once they are up in the hotel room, Raja takes a bag and goes into the bathroom and when the door opens again, Sutan walks out in a hotel bathrobe. Tommy's leaning against the door waiting and he can't help maybe looking longer than he should at Sutan. He'd looked amazing as Raja, but he's still amazing now. Tommy thinks he maybe wants to kiss him even more now, with all his make-up stripped away, leaving just him, just Sutan. 

　

"The transformation is quicker in the reverse. I left a spare tooth brush in there for you. I always bring extra. Go wash up and get your tiny ass in bed, you look like you're about to fall asleep standing up," Sutan says firmly and Tommy reaches out for a hug, because it's not like he's going to let Sutan go to bed without a good night hug.

　

"God you're tiny," Sutan mutters, hugging him close and tight just the way Tommy likes.

　

"You're just freakishly tall," Tommy says firmly. Sutan just smiles, it's nothing that they haven't said before on tour and it's not like a real argument, never has been. Tommy doesn't think he has ever had any kind of fight with Sutan and he'd like things to stay that way. He has to make himself take a step back, let go of Sutan, because if he doesn't do it now he doesn't think he will ever have the strength to do it, because he already wishes he never had to leave Sutan's arms. 

　

"Time for bed, I mean it Mr Insomnia, I want you human at breakfast. You're sure you're okay with taking the couch while me and Adam share the bedroom?" Sutan asks, reaching out to smooth down Tommy's hair and he can't help leaning into the touch. 

　

"I'm good with the couch and I can watch TV that way if I want to. But I promise I'll try to sleep," Tommy says firmly and he does try to sleep like a 'normal' person, but it just doesn't always work. He's not been that bad lately, but he can never seem to predict when he will get bad.

　

"Okay hun, if you can't sleep and you get bored of late night TV, you can come share with me and Adam, come for a cuddle. You're small, you wouldn't take up much space," Sutan teases.

　

"Adam snores," Tommy shrugs.

　

"How would you know?" Sutan asks with a raised eyebrow.

　

"Wouldn't you like to know," Tommy smirks and when Sutan's mouth falls open, he starts to laugh.

　

He has to force his words out pass the laughter. "Dude, come on, it's called tour and liking his bed on the bus better than my tiny ass bunk. We're not fucking, just really close friends, you know that," At least he hopes Sutan does. Neil was convinced for months that they had something going on, but on the down low, like they'd be kissing on stage and pulling shit in public like they did if they were trying to be subtle and keep secrets.

　

"I wonder sometimes," Sutan shrugs.

　

"You think it's more than playing around sometimes?" Tommy asks.

　

"Sometimes," Sutan nods, his arms folded and suddenly things don't seem as joking as they were. The whole mood around them has changed.

　

"You know I wouldn't lie to you, right?" Tommy says softly, because he's sure it's true, god, he hopes he's right and Sutan does trust him. It would hurt a hell of a lot if Tommy was wrong and Sutan didn't trust him.

　

"Of course, I trust you Tommy. But keeping something from me, from the world isn't the same as lying. Wanting privacy isn't wrong or bad," Sutan says just as softly and if they don't stop soon Adam's going to come looking for Sutan.

　

"Then I'm telling you, I've not, never had and never will sleep with Adam. He's my best friend and I love him, but not in the way people think. I promise and I hope my word's good enough for you," Tommy says, biting his lip.

　

"Your word is good enough. I'm sorry, I was just being silly. It just looks so real sometimes, you know? Made me wonder if you meant it," Sutan sighs. 

　

"Kind of the point, wouldn't fit the song if it wasn't sexy and I think it looking good pisses the homophobes off more," Tommy says with a grin.

　

"That is does, okay bed. I mean it, I need my beauty sleep," Sutan kisses him on the cheek and leaves before Tommy can says anything dumb and cheesy about how Sutan doesn't need one bit of beauty sleep. He's gorgeous just the way he is. Shaking his head at how lame that probably would have sounded, he heads for the couch that someone has made into a bed for him, blankets and pillows already in place and he crawls under the blanket, feeling tired and a little drunk, not enough to be pass out drunk, but he falls asleep anyway.

　

 

++++++++++++++++++  
　

He's dressed up, his make-up all done, looking pretty as he can, perfect for Sutan to mess him up and Tommy can't wait. He actually can't wait more than he probably should. The whole getting pulled around and messed with by Sutan is all kinds of awesome, he's as jittery as a kid on Christmas morning, all kinds of excited knowing he's going to get Sutan's mouth on him. He's trying to not let it show though, it's not like he's never kissed anybody before and on camera, but this is Sutan and that makes all the difference. He's not sure he has ever been this nervous before.

　

He gets to watch the parts he's not in, all the different outfits. The clown face is kind of creepy but in a cool way and all the other's outfits are hot as fuck. He can't pick his favourite, the leopard print, the blonde hair, the black vest and the eye make-up for that one is simple, but so sexy and those damn boots with heels that have Sutan up on his tiptoes, it's almost all too much. The whole video has a sexual feel to it and watching has him hard enough to pound nails and that's before he has his main scene. He's already done his shot with the boots, that had been pretty fucking hot. 

　

"So, are you ready? This is the last shot of the day, they didn't want me to mess you up before the end. Not sure how many takes it'll take, so they might have to redo your lipstick a few times, but it'll be great and thank you again for doing this," Raja says with a smile. Leopard print, the tight clothes, Tommy loves it, a lot, he's having trouble not gawking like an idiot at Sutan and Raja's costumes.

　

"No problem, it's really cool that you're making a music video. Anything I should know or do? I don't know how you want me to play this," he's rubbed against Raja, pulling the full sex kitten routine, but he's not sure how they want the kiss to play out.

　

"We want it to look hot and raw and just sexual. You did great before, so just like that and I'm sure you can let me take control right? I know when you let Adam play with you that you submit, you cool with doing that for me?" Raja asks.

　

"Take the lead, do what you want," Tommy shrugs. He's pretty laid back when it comes to this stuff and if Raja wants to play with him like he's a toy she can, he doesn't feel the need to always be in control.

　

The first take doesn't go great though and Tommy knows it's his fault, he's holding back and desperately thinking about not getting a hard on again while Sutan/Raja is kissing him. He's really into Sutan and that is a problem. It's meant to look sexy and real, but it's not real, he can't get turned on while he's doing this.

　

"What's wrong, Tommy?" Raja asks softly, looking worried.

　

"Nothing. I guess I'm just used to Adam grabbing and kissing me. I'm not used to it being so thought out, I guess," Which isn't a total lie, he's not used to planning a kiss, he just doesn't mention the whole you really turn me on part of the problem.

　

"You're not used to faking it, are you? Well just kiss me like you mean it," Raja purrs, all in Tommy's space and soon, the camera is rolling again and they are kissing again, lipstick smearing all over Tommy and he's starting to get hard, but he's too lost in the kiss to really panic and before he knows it, the director is calling cut and telling them he has it. Tommy lets himself be lead away to get cleaned up in a daze, thinking of every single unsexy thing he can.

　

 

++++++++++++++++++  
　

Once they're back in their own clothes, Sutan insists on taking Tommy out for a drink to thank him and Tommy could do with a beer to help with his sexual frustration from the shoot and Sutan is good company so they hit the bars and it reminds Tommy of the first time he saw Raja when he was at the bar, but this bar is louder, busier and a lot of people are trashed beyond belief. Including Hunter, a guy he used to hook up with, who spots Tommy at the bar, comes right over and plants a hard kiss on Tommy's mouth.

　

"Tommy, it's so good to see you," Hunter says happily, and then he looks at Sutan and covers his mouth with his hand for a moment. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry if that's your boyfriend. It's just, I've not seen you in so long and you were so awesome," Hunter rambles drunkenly.

　

"I'm not his boyfriend, he is awesome, though," Sutan says a little slowly, like he's not sure what's going on.

　

"Awesome kisser. If you haven't, you really should, he is such a good kisser," Hunter says happily, and Tommy's trying to think of a way to get him and Sutan away from Hunter when he keeps right on talking and Tommy's mind goes blank as he has an 'oh shit' moment. "Good with his tongue as well," Hunter says, leaning in, his whisper not at all quiet and Tommy is so glad that it is loud in here. "I mean, I have never had head that good in my life," Hunter leans even closer, his hand on Tommy's chest, looking at him in a way that his drunken mind probably thinks of as come hither, when it's far from it. He just looks drunk and out of it. Sober Hunter would never run his mouth about their business like this. 

　

"Okay Hunter, thanks for the compliment, but my friends do not need to hear the details of my sex life," Tommy says with a fake smile, this is so fucking awkward. 

　

"I'm sorry, booze makes me horny and you were the greatest lay of my life. So if you really are single, come find me later, okay?" Hunter leans down and kisses Tommy on the mouth again before backing away, waving at Tommy and almost stumbling over his own feet as he heads back to his friends.

　

Tommy turns to look at Sutan and he knows he's blushing, but he can't help it, he's so embarrassed, and when he looks at Sutan, the other man just starts laughing.

　

"You should see your face," Sutan chokes out.

　

"It's not funny," Tommy groans.

　

"It kind of is. He was hilarious, did you date him?" Sutan asks.

　

"No, we used to hook up," Tommy shrugs.

　

"He seemed to have a high opinion of you. If you want to leave with him it's okay," Sutan says softly and Tommy's shaking his head before he finishes.

　

"I'm not ditching you to go get laid by some random guy I used to know," Tommy says firmly.

　

"Okay honey, if you change your mind, I can get myself home, I'm a big boy," Sutan smiles, sipping his drink.

　

"Not happening, lets find a table, nowhere near the guy who wants in my pants," Tommy says and they work their way through the crowd and find a small booth round the back of the bar, away from the dance floor where it's quieter. They sit opposite of each other and after a while, Tommy can tell Sutan's thinking something he's not saying.

　

"Whatever you want to ask just ask it," Tommy says, fiddling with the loose corner of the label on his beer bottle.

　

"So I heard you were maybe a little bi, but I never knew for sure," Sutan shrugs.

　

"You should have just asked me. I'd have told you if you did. It's not like a total secret, I just didn't want the fans and press in my life like that and they all would have said I was with Adam, not that they don't now. But you know, not out, but not in the closet either," Tommy shrugs. Sexuality can be complicated, he's comfortable with who he is, but he doesn't feel the need to advertise his preference. The people who matter know most the time, he doesn't see why other people know.

　

"You're right, you never said you were straight to me. I made assumptions just like the people who don't know you. I shouldn't have, I'm sorry," Sutan sighs and Tommy grabs his hand over the table, because he wants Sutan to look at him and really see, know he means it.

　

"You have nothing to be sorry about. Okay? It's not a big deal. Only never tell anyone what Hunter said, please?" Tommy groans.

　

"Why not, he gave you a glowing review," Sutan says with a wicked smile, but Tommy already knows that Sutan won't gossip about him.

　

"It's embarrassing," Tommy shrugs.

　

"Oh honey, from what he said you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Best head and best sex he ever had, you should be proud," Sutan says happily, and Tommy lets go of his hand so he can poke him in the arm.

　

"It's not funny. I'm not big into bragging. I mean, I'm not going to be some smug asshole about it by saying its true," Tommy shrugs, blushing again.

　

"But is it true? Come on, you can tell me. I won't tell, I swear," Sutan says with a big grin.

　

"How should I know if I'm good? Never had any complaints, but I don't know," Tommy shrugs, blushing even worse than before.

　

"Well you must have some idea, must have heard the screaming and moaning, seen the mind numbing orgasms," Sutan say eyebrow raised and Tommy kind of wishes he wouldn't talk about sex. It's making his mind go to all kinds of dirty places. But at the same time, he doesn't mind talking about it, sex is sex, it's just something you do with your body and yeah sure, it can mean more, it can mean a hell of a lot more between the right people. But when it comes to just getting off and both people just wanting a physical release, Tommy isn't that shy about saying he likes it and he's good at it.

　

"Okay, I was good. I used to make him hard just by talking dirty, make him come over and over till he could hardly move, but it was so good he'd still beg for more. He could never get enough. When I was working in the call center, he'd come pick me up during my lunch break, I'd blow him or fuck him in his car. We almost got caught a dozen times, but he didn't care. As long as he got to have me he was up for it any time, anywhere. Said I turned him into a nympho," Tommy shakes his head, some days the lunch time booty call had been the only thing that helped him get through the day. He still hated his job, but some good sex generally had him feeling mellow.

　

"My, my. Who'd have thought my little Tommy was such a naughty boy," Sutan teases.

　

"It's not like I'm big into casual. I don't have like a hundred guys like Hunter to back up me being good in bed. I guess for a long time that's all I thought I could have from a man, you know? Seemed like that was all they wanted from me and I wasn't as comfortable with myself back then. Things have changed, though. I've changed and now I don't care what people think, if I want to date a guy and he wants to date me, that's our business. The people whose opinions I really care about won't care," Tommy shrugs. He's not always been confident, isn't even always confident now, but he's doing better. He's more comfortable in his skin than ever before. The tour, Adam, Sutan, the band and the fans have all helped build him up a little. He doesn't think he needs to be big or muscular to be a man any more. He's cool with being pretty, with being 'different'. He is who he is and most the time, he likes the person he is now.

　

He's always been open and accepting of other people, always has been, but he hadn't always applied it to himself. He never thought it was wrong to be gay or for a man to be pretty, but he had thought maybe he shouldn't be those things, couldn't be if he wanted to play in the kinds of bands that played the kind of music he loved. But people aren't always the kind of assholes he's come to expect them to be. Sure, there are a lot of bigoted and narrow minded people, people who don't think others should have the right to live and love any other way than what they see as being 'normal'. The world is full of men and women who are filled with hatred for no good reason. But there is also a shit ton of people who love him for who he is. 

　

"It sounds like you're happier than you used to be," Sutan says softly.

　

"I am and a lot of it is the small stuff, like none of my male friends blinking an eye about my boss being gay and kissing me at an award show. I thought some might, but they proved me wrong and I'm glad I did and then there is you," Tommy says, stopping to take a sip of his beer.

　

"What did I do?" Sutan asks.

　

"Again a lot of it was small things. Like goofing around with make-up. I used to worry about what people would think of it. I used to not be sure about looking pretty, but you're pretty and it works, doesn't make you less of a man. I guess seeing you so confident and just fucking cool made me feel like I could do it, too. I could wear make-up and own it, own the look and not care if some people thought it was wrong. Not to mention it was always fun and looked cool when you did my make-up for me," Tommy smiles softly. Even without his crush he kind of loves Sutan in the way he loves a lot of the people on the tour. He doesn't think he was a bad person before he met them, but he thinks he is a better person now from having them in his life. 

　

"Well, I'm glad I could help. Everyone should be able to be themselves and be happy. I love getting to do your make-up, you're so fun to play with, such a pretty canvas," Sutan says happily.

　

"Buying me a drink, calling me pretty, a guy could think he was being seduced," Tommy jokes.

　

Something in Sutan's expression flickers before he answers, "Like it'd be that easy for me to seduce you. It'd take more than a drink and a compliment to get you into my bed," Sutan laughs. Like it's all a joke, but suddenly Tommy's not so sure it's a joke at all.

　

"It'd be easier than that. You'd just have to ask to get me to come home with you," Tommy says, not joking at all.

　

"Because you're that easy? And like that'd even be easy to just ask? I can't just ask for that," Sutan says, sounding confused. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have even brought this shit up," He shouldn't have tried to do this, all he's going to do is end up hurt. He shouldn't have been so honest, he's probably freaked Sutan the fuck out.

　

"No, you don't need to be sorry, you need to explain. Are you saying if I asked to sleep with you, you would sleep with me, just that simple?" Sutan asks, eyes pinning Tommy in his seat and he doesn't feel like he can look away, doesn't want to lie.

　

"Yeah, that simple," Tommy tells him honestly, because he would. A one off might break his heart, but if Sutan asked him for that he'd give it, if Sutan wanted more he could have it. It's not simple, not really, it's far from black and white, but he knows he would give Sutan whatever he asked for, because he has feelings for Sutan that he's afraid to put a label on because he is afraid that the label might be love. 

　

"You're attracted to me?" Sutan says softly.

　

"Come on, you're beautiful, of course I find you attractive. I'm not blind. I've thought you were hot from the moment I saw you, just didn't say anything on tour cos' it could make shit awkward. Kind of hoping it won't do that now," Tommy admits, feeling nervous.

　

"I don't understand, are you saying you want to sleep with me?" Sutan's face gives nothing away and Tommy wishes he was better at reading people.

　

"I told you, casual is not my thing. I want a hell of a lot more than that, but if that's all I could have I wouldn't say no, not to you and if you only want me as a friend, I'm still a lucky man to have you in my life," Tommy says honestly. If Sutan doesn't want him it could get awkward, but he knows Sutan at least won't hate him for feeling the way he does. Sutan won't be cruel about turning him down.

　

"When you say a hell of a lot more, what do you mean?" Sutan asks.

　

"Well I'm kind of in love with you, so like I'd really like to date you, bring you home to meet my mom, the works. But you know, I get it if you don't want that. I won't freak out," Tommy says, biting his lip a little. He's so damn nervous, but he couldn't keep going and not say anything. He did it for a whole tour, but it's just too hard to keep his feelings locked up any longer.

　

From the way their conversation is going, he expects Sutan to say something to let him down gently. He doesn't expect Sutan to lean over the table that is separating them to press the sweetest kiss Tommy has ever had to his lips, before settling back down in his seat.

　

"So that wasn't a no, go to hell?" Tommy asks, not daring to hope that it could all work out, that he could have everything he wants and has wanted for so long.

　

"So far from a hell no. I mean God, not only are you insanely pretty, you're one of the nicest, sweetest, kindest, fucking perfect people I have ever met. How could I not want you?" Sutan tells him and Tommy can feel his heart racing, but just as he's opening his mouth to do something like ask Sutan out for real, Hunter comes stumbling over and Tommy doesn't remember Hunter having such shitty, cock blocking timing back when they had known each other. 

　

"Tommy, I had to come say goodbye. I'm going home and I wanted to know if you'd come with me," How Hunter manages to get the words out without slurring his speech, Tommy would be impressed, maybe, if Hunter had interrupted something really important.

　

"I'm with someone," Tommy says and for him it's not a lie, they might have never been on a real date, they might not have gone to bed together, but that doesn't mean Tommy doesn't see himself as Sutan's right now. 

　

"You didn't say before," Hunter starts and Sutan cuts him off.

　

"But he has now, so leave him alone. Go home and sober up. I'm pretty sure the desperate thing is a drunk thing, so save yourself some embarrassment and leave, now," Sutan's tone isn't harsh, but it doesn't leave any room for argument. Tommy's kind of impressed.

　

Hunter blinks at them a few times, mouth open, then snapping shut as he stumbles away, back to the people he's been with all night and Tommy has no problem with the guy, but he's happy to see him leave. 

　

"That was kind of hot," Tommy blurts out before he can filter his thoughts.

　

"Me being kind of rude to your sort of ex was hot? You're a weird guy, Tommy Joe," Sutan says, sounding amused.

　

"But weird in a way where you still want to take me home, right?" Tommy asks hopefully, pretty sure he's not reading things wrong.

　

"I could have slapped him for interrupting. There is nothing more I want than to take you home with me and not just to hook up. I want you for as long as I can have you. I think we have something that could work, but right now I don't want to talk. Right now, I want to get you in my bed so I can fuck you," Sutan's tone does things to his cock, so do his words, especially the last part of what he said.

　

"You okay with that?" Sutan asks, almost challengingly, like he thinks maybe Tommy doesn't bottom. Sure, he's topped more than he's bottomed, but that was just because he's had a few one night stands and he never wanted to risk getting hurt, if he read a person wrong and they turned out to be an asshole who didn't care about his comfort or enjoyment. He bottoms when he's built up trust with a person and he doesn't have a single reason not to trust Sutan. 

　

"So fucking okay with that. We can go now, right? Like right fucking now?" He's so turned on, he feels like he's going to explode. Sutan has been getting under his skin in the best possible way from the first time they met and Tommy is aching with the need to finally do something about the attraction between them.

　

"Let's go," Sutan nods, standing up and taking Tommy's hand. Sutan leads the way through the crowd, working his way through with an ease that only comes with being tall. When they get outside, the cool air hits Tommy's skin, turning the sweat from being inside the warm bar to turn icy cold and he shivers. Sutan must notice because he wraps his arm around Tommy's shoulders and pulls him close, using the other hand to call for a taxi.

　

While they wait for the taxi, Tommy rests his head on Sutan's shoulder, so comfortable that he's sure if he wasn't so worked up he could fall asleep standing up. He's so turned on, his cock is pushing hard at the zip of his jeans, and Sutan has hardly even touched him. Tommy doesn't know how he's going to handle Sutan getting his hands on him for real.

　

When Sutan's arm stiffens a little, Tommy looks up at him and then around after seeing his closed off expression. He soon spots Hunter and his friends nearby, probably waiting for their own taxi. Tommy smiles, he can't help it as he all but goes up on his toes to get his lips close to Sutan's ear. "Possessive much?" Tommy says softly, making sure his breath tickles over Sutan's ear so he can watch him shiver.

　

"You do not want to know how having him around makes me feel, the things it makes me want to do," Sutan says in a low voice and Tommy finds himself being the one shivering again, Sutan's words sending a chill down his spine that somehow makes his cock ache just that little bit more.

　

"What does it make you want to do?" Tommy asks, feeling daring and he's damn glad he asked when Sutan lays a possessive kiss on him for everyone to see, claiming him openly. There was a time when Tommy thought men would only want him as a dirty little secret, but this open and very public display of affection shows that things with Sutan will be very different from his past experiences with men. The kiss itself is damn good too, has him moving closer, pressing himself against Sutan's chest, his cock against Sutan's thigh and he won't deny that he whimpers when Sutan ends the kiss.

　

"Taxi's here, baby doll," Sutan tells him, eyes bright with lust and Tommy lets himself be bundled into the taxi. He feels like he has no control over his limbs, loose and boneless and more than happy to follow Sutan's lead.

　

The taxi ride to Sutan's place takes too long. Sitting in the dimly lit back seat, his hand in Sutan's, their hands the only place they are touching and the whole time he wants to be closer, wants more contact, another kiss. So the moment Sutan pays the driver, before he's even pulling away Tommy pushes into Sutan's space again, claiming a kiss. It's hot and real and so different now they both know that they mean it. Sutan nips his lip and then pulls his hair, breaking the kiss and holding Tommy still. All he can do is pant, whole body alive with electricity as he's held still, waiting.

　

"Impatient," Sutan drawls.

　

"What can I say, I really want you to fuck me," Tommy says simply and Sutan makes a small noise, his hand tightening in Tommy's hair, but not enough for it to be unpleasant. Going by the sound that breaks free of Tommy's lips, he likes the rough handling.

　

"Not going to change your mind then?" Sutan asks.

　

"I wouldn't come home with you if I didn't mean it," Tommy says firmly. He's a lot of things and he's often a tease, but he'd never say he wanted to be fucked if he didn't mean it.

　

"God, gotta get you inside or I'm going to end up fucking you out here on the street," Sutan groans.

　

"Right now I'm so turned on, I really don't think I'd mind," Tommy says honestly, he's not much of an exhibitionist, but he wants Sutan so bad and the street seems pretty deserted any way, now that the taxi is gone. If Sutan asked him to go to his knees right now out here, he probably would.

　

"You're going to kill me," Sutan doesn't sound like he's complaining. He kisses Tommy hard and fast , then he's dragging Tommy along by his hand, leading the way to his apartment and Tommy loses his shoes the minute they get in the door, his shirt landing on Sutan's couch. They stumble to Sutan's bedroom, attached at the lips and Tommy's not sure when Sutan gets a hand on his pants, but the belt and zipper are suddenly open and Sutan pins him to the door frame leading to his bedroom, one hand keeping Tommy's hands up above his head and his other pushing at the material around Tommy's hips and Tommy wiggles helpfully till between them they get his jeans off and Sutan comes in for a kiss, keeping him pinned and Tommy wants to get his hands on Sutan, but he likes the way Sutan is holding him in place. 

　

"Naked," Tommy blurts out when Sutan moves from his mouth, to his neck.

　

"Yeah, you are," Sutan says licking a warm, wet trail over his collarbone.

　

"Not me, you, you need to be naked, like now. You might be running the show but I still want you naked right now," Tommy grins. He's pretty mouthy in bed, it's never gotten him any complaints and Sutan doesn't seem to have a problem with it either. 

　

He takes his hands off of Tommy and strips so fast, Tommy doesn't know where to look first, but when his eyes fall to Sutan's groin they stay there and he drops to his knees right there in the door way, his hands on Sutan's hips for balance as he leans in and licks over the head, shocking a gasp out of Sutan and Tommy grins wickedly, leaning in and taking as much of Sutan in his mouth as he can, sucking and licking, loving every sound that he pulls out of Sutan's throat. 

　

He's really getting into it when Sutan fists a hand in his hair and gently pulls him off. Tommy looks up at Sutan, not sure why he's being stopped. Sutan eyes are wide and sparkling, his lip a little swollen like he's been biting at it, his chest rising and falling and he looks so good and Tommy can't believe they are finally here, it's like something out of his wildest fantasy.

　

"I don't want to come in your mouth, not right now anyway. I want to get inside you, Tommy," Sutan says, voice a little rough with lust and Tommy has never gotten off his knees so fast in his life. He almost stumbles he's so eager, but Sutan steadies him, pulling him close so that their naked bodies are pressed close and Tommy can't hold in the little moan that makes it's way past his lips and he doesn't want to, doesn't feel the need to hide his reactions here. 

　

"Thought you were going to fuck me in your bed, not your doorway," Tommy smiles, leaning in for a soft kiss, running his tongue over Sutan's bottom lip, loving the taste of his mouth. 

　

"Eager?" Sutan asks, maybe like he'd been aiming for cocky, but Tommy thinks maybe he really wants to know if Tommy wants him as badly as he wants Tommy.

　

"You know I am. So take me to bed and fuck me like you mean it," Tommy all but growls and Sutan surges in, kissing him rough and hot and Tommy doesn't even realise they have been moving until his legs bump into Sutan's bed. He hardly even looks around the room, he's been here before and the only thing he really notices before he gets on the bed is that the sheets are a dark purple colour and he doesn't think they were last time. Getting Sutan on top of him, between his legs, it's like a prayer answered. 

　

"No teasing," Tommy says softly. He's not sure he could live through teasing. 

　

In response Sutan leans over to the side and comes back with lube and a condom. Then he kisses Tommy, hungry and slick, licking his way inside and owning Tommy's mouth. His hands on Tommy's skin feel perfect, feel like they belong. They've both done this before with other people, they are both far from virginal, so it's not new for sex to be good to Tommy or surprising, but he's never felt so owned by another person's touch before Sutan touched him.

　

Sutan pushes Tommy's legs up, hooking them over his shoulders as he slicks up his fingers, Tommy is tense with anticipation, but so ready for this, so ready. The first finger has him moaning, head falling back and by the time Sutan adds a second finger he can't watch, his eyes tightly closed, head arching back on the pillow, teeth sinking into his bottom lip.

　

"Can you take more?" Sutan asks in a husky voice. 

　

"Yeah, yeah give me more, I'm ready," Tommy nods, pleasure coursing through his body, making every part of him feel more alive. He moans loudly when Sutan adds another finger, all three brushing right over that perfect spot inside of him that makes being in this position feel so different from any other kind of sex he's ever had. He loves being inside of another person, but this, being spread out and opened up by someone who really knows what they are doing, there is nothing else like it in the world.

　

"Come on, please, fuck me Sutan, please," Tommy begs shamelessly, wanting nothing more than to feel Sutan inside him, thrusting into his body, making him see stars.

　

He hears the crinkling of the condom wrapper and then Sutan pulls his fingers out and replaces them with the blunt head of his cock. He pushes in slowly and so carefully, creating a perfect burn, an ache that is nothing but pleasure spreading out through his body. Tommy gasps, because it feels so good and all he can do is clutch at Sutan's back, rocking his hips to try and get Sutan to move, to thrust.

　

"Come on," Tommy whines, so strung out, so desperate for more. “Please.”

　

"I don't want to hurt you," Sutan says softly, one hand coming up to stroke Tommy's hair off of his face.

　

"Not gonna hurt me, you feel so good, I promise. Come on, please," Tommy babbles and when Sutan starts to move slowly, he moans out his appreciation. 

　

"God, you sound so good, so damn hot and tight. Wanted to do this for so long, Tommy," Sutan pants and Tommy moves, straining his neck a little, but it's worth it when he gets his mouth on Sutan's, kissing him deeply, tongues thrusting like their bodies and Tommy moans into the kiss, totally lost in pleasure. He doesn't have any idea of time passing, all he knows is that Sutan is inside of him, fucking him and it feels so good, just the way he imagined it would.

　

And then Sutan wraps his hand around Tommy's cock and Tommy falls out of the kiss, gasping out how good the touch feels. 

　

"Sutan," Tommy groans, pleasure racing through his veins, making his heart flutter faster and faster. Sutan's hand on his dick, his cock moving inside of Tommy, hitting his prostate, it all feels so perfect and Tommy's moaning loud enough for the neighbours to hear, but he doesn't care, he's pretty sure Sutan likes the way he sounds anyway.

　

"Close," He mumbles and Sutan just speeds his hand up, working Tommy over, making him moan and shake and his orgasm tears through him and he clings to Sutan as he shakes apart, pleasure stealing his vision, cries tumble from his mouth. He can't see anything, all he can do is feel, feel Sutan inside of him, feel the soft brush of lips against his neck and he's lost in a haze of pleasure and by the time his orgasm slows down he is totally boneless.

　

"Fuck, Tommy," Sutan whispers, sucking on Tommy's neck, his hips moving just a little faster, rhythm almost sloppy, but it still feels good, really good and Tommy moans softly, never wanting it to end, but he can tell Sutan is getting closer and closer to the edge. He licks over Sutan's neck, bites lightly and that does it, sends Sutan right over , his hips stuttering as he thrusts hard one last time and presses deep . Tommy loves the sounds he makes, the fact that it's Tommy's name on his lips.

　

Sutan kisses him, warm and soft, it's not a kiss that's all about passion, it's tender, loving and it makes Tommy's chest feel warm and heavy and when Sutan pulls out he's grinning like an idiot, but he can't stop himself. He's so fucking happy and he can't even hide it, doesn't want to, even if it makes him look goofy. Sutan gets rid of the condom, cleans them both up a little before pulling Tommy back into his arms, kissing him again and Tommy kisses back until sleep drags him under.

　

Epilogue 

　

Tommy wakes up to Sutan pressed to his back, his hard cock pressing against his ass, warm lips kissing the side of his neck. Tommy sighs happily, he doesn't want to get out of their bed. After the first time he woke up with Sutan over two months ago, now he knew he hadn't wanted to leave and go back to his own empty bed. Sutan didn't want to sleep without him either, it seemed like the best course of action was to move in together. Some of their friends and family had worried that it would be too fast, that they were burning hot and would burn out fast, that it wouldn't last. Tommy thinks those people are happy that they seem to be proving them wrong.

　

"Morning," Tommy says softly, rolling his hips to rub his ass against Sutan's cock, smirking at the groan it pulls from Sutan.

　

"Morning, baby," Sutan says before sucking Tommy's earlobe into his mouth, using just enough teeth to make it feel perfect, to have Tommy shuddering.

　

"Coffee?" Tommy asks. He's only teasing, they both know as much as he loves coffee that he's not about to choose it over Sutan, even first thing in the morning.

　

"I'll make it for you after," Sutan promises.

　

"After what?" Tommy says playing dumb, trying to hide the smile on his face.

　

"You're such a tease," Sutan growls, rolling them so he's on top of Tommy, pinning him to the mattress. 

　

"You love it," Tommy shrugs. He loves teasing Sutan, loves the kind of reactions it gets him.

　

Two months is still early days in a relationship, but he thinks things will work, they fit together, fit into each other's lives. It's like they are two puzzle pieces that were meant to be together, to make a life together.

　

"I love you," Sutan says and before Sutan said those words, Tommy had no idea three little words could make his heart feel so full.

　

"Love you, too," Tommy says, pushing up for a kiss. It's sweet and tender, just like the sex that follows and after they lay together, skin warm, breath shallow, coming down from their high together and kissing softly, Tommy knows he has never meant for a kiss to mean more.

　

The End.


End file.
